It was a journey just getting to the studio that morning. I was just getting back to work and the lack of sleep and sheer exhaustion was real. I had my first show back the day before, a family dinner that evening and can I just say 2 under 2 is a GAME CHANGER 😓😭😶But who really plans their first photo shoot 8 weeks after having a baby?! Thank God for my fairy glam squad and photo team for finding the right “angles” and lighting lol.
The thing is we needed these photos because we submitted our “Hawaiian Lullaby” album for the GRAMMYs!! @hakucollective YAS!! So excited!!
Anyways, I had an impromptu idea to take a few photos with my son while listening to “Songbird”, the song I recorded on the album while hāpai with him. I used to say this was my wedding song until I had children and realized it was a song for them. “And I love you like never before”... that is an unconditional love a parent feels for their child. You get to watch them grow and everyday you love them a little more than you did before. As I held my son in my arms I thought about the day I recorded the song with him in my belly, his sister playing in the vocal booth across from me so I could see her. I thought about the hard work it took to create this album from start to finish and release it to the world. I thought about the birth of this tiny human in my arms and the rebirth of his mama. I thought about the struggle just to find the time to work and do things like this with 2 small babies now. It was overwhelming and a special moment to share with my son
✨I’m learning that giving birth to a new identity can be as demanding as giving birth to a baby. ✨
✨I’m learning that the pull and push of wanting a child close, and also craving space (physically and emotionally) is the normal wave of motherhood. Although it’s uncomfortable to feel two opposing things at the same time, ambivalence is normal and ok!✨
✨I’m learning. I’m growing with these beautiful babies I get to call my own. I’m blessed and I’m thankful. And sometimes I just gotta let it go and cry. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽